Another snow monster
I had almost forgotten to shave my head today
I also shaved my legs and body hair
I normally don't make any new year's resolutions
If I need to change something in my life , I'm not going to wait until January first
Somebody said Rocky drank an entire twelve pack of Pepsi every day
which sounds far too excessive to be true
but if it's even close to true
I'm going to use that as a reason to cut back on my own pop consumption
When I go shopping I buy two 2-liter bottles of pop for the week
Half of which goes into my lunch bag
and the other I casually drink at home
I'm going to start buying only one bottle a week
This means I need to carefully fill half of my water bottle with ice
so I can fill the other half with 400ml of pop
The temperature is dropping below freezing
So I'm contemplating the blankets on my bed
I have a total of seven blankets
1) a tattered old sleeping bag that I have been using since high school
It's the warmest blanket I have
probably because it's from the 'when things were made with quality' era
I want to get a large sewing machine and stitch it together to keep it from falling apart any more
One downside of this blanket is that the outside of it is some synthetic cloth that is very slippery
so it easily slides off the bed
2) A large comforter that mom gave me
It's much larger than my twin size bed
3) A small UoM blanket , I got as a gift from Tim
It's pretty warm , but doesn't completely cover my body
4) and 5) Two TekSystems blankets that were given as holiday gifts
I found them sitting in the storage room at work , so I grabbed two of them
They were originally very soft and warm , but now they're pilled up and thinner
6) I needed a new sleeping bag for camping
So I got a cheap one
7) A super heavy quilt mom bought
I was in the market for a 'weighted blanket' , so this was a welcomed surprise
It still smells of GoodWill and old lady
I've got the blankets layered on my bed like this
- i'm sleeping on top of the the new sleeping bag , like some sort of a pad
- sleeping inside the old sleeping bag
- the three smaller blankets - UofM and TekSystems - I rolled up into a body pillow
- the comforter , i've folded in half and sleep under
- the heavy quilt is also folded in half and on top of everything
Considering these blankets are the only entities I share my bed with
I've tried to create fantasies where I personify them into waifus
With my mattress and two pillows , I'd be sharing my bed with ten women every night
I'd like to get a dozen more blankets
lay them flat and layer them up
then sleep on top of them
I imagine I'd sink into their softness and stay very warm
The water bill came today
It was back down to normal levels because I'm not watering my lawn
but higher than it might be because I'm taking hot baths almost daily
I checked 33 lottery tickets since May
I only won $4
One of the first self-insert fan-fics I mentally created was from Harry Potter
Most people make themselves a student of Hogwarts and figure out which house they'd be in
Me ? I'm a muggle who is a professor teaching Muggle Studies
I will present the story in chronological order
(but i didn't mentally create it in that order)
How did a muggle get into the magical world ?
Of course I had no idea magic was real
I was at a cosplay convention , dressed as what I thought a wizard looked like -- robes , pointy hat , wand
I guess I was convincing enough to catch the eye of a certain witch
She was exploring the muggle world
It sounds like a bad rom-com
I thought she was cosplaying as a witch
and she thought I was a wizard who was refraining from using magic around the muggles
We dated for a while
but when we learned the truth about each other
we both freaked out
We avoided contact for a while , while we got our thoughts and feelings straightened out
Eventually , we decided that we liked each other enough to not let our differences come between us
Later , we moved in together and got married
How did you get a job at Hogwarts ?
I was alone at home one night when there was a knock at the door
It was an older man in robes
I assumed he was here to see my wife
I told him she would be home soon , but he said he was here to see me
He introduced himself as Professor Dumbledore
The name rang a distant bell
I asked him if he was from the school
He said he was the headmaster , and was looking to fill a teaching position
It took me a while to wrap my head around what he was saying
I do have teaching degree , and was looking for a permanent position
Luckily , my wife came home and the three of us discussed the matter
She was concerned what could happen to somebody that couldn't use magic in a place like that
Ultimately , I agreed to take the job
How did you adjust to life at Hogwarts ?
I've watched my wife use magic , so I wasn't too shocked by what I saw
I imagine it's like the difference between living with somebody that speaks a foreign language , and going to the country where that language is spoke
There are enchantments on the school to prevent muggles from seeing it
I was given a charm that would allow me to see things properly
I first visited the school during summer break , so I could get acquainted with the place before the students showed up
My wife spent the first week with me at the school to help me get acclimated
She was torn between being nostalgic and worried for my safety
I am aware that there is prejudice against non magic users
so , as I introduced myself to the other professors , I bluntly asked them their opinion on muggles
Most of them were positive to indifferent
I did my best to avoid further contact with the actively hateful
My wife was wary about me visiting Hogsmead
If it was discovered that I couldn't use magic , I was to say I was a squib
As somebody who couldn't defend myself against magic
I was a favorite target of the bullies
In a paranoid way , I had to constantly be on the look out for wands pointed at me
What curriculum did you create for your classes ?
Generally , I took it as my job to inform the students about what they might encounter in the muggle world
I did this by creating analogs between magical things they already knew about and things that the muggles use
Potions class is a cross between chemistry , cooking , and pharmacology
Arithmancy is a lot like algebra and other advanced maths
Herbology is less scary horticulture
They travel with brooms apparition and flues
We travel with bicycles cars and airplanes
I showed them how to play muggle sports
Classes like Charms Transfiguration and Apparition don't have a muggle analog
Most muggle technology doesn't work in the presence of such a high magical field
So I couldn't demonstrate the electronics they would encounter
The other professors managed to set up a special room to cancel out the magic in the air
Any magic performed in that room would backfire
but now I could show them light bulbs , telephones , television , computers , etc
A real blessing was when I was able to project movies onto a screen from a laptop
The visual aids made it much easier to explain unfamiliar concepts
I also used the projector to show movies
I bought an inexpensive kayak from Dick's
I'll use it to explore the Rouge River
My car just hit 60,000 miles
I think it had 35,000 miles when I got it in 2019
Work had me swapping hard drives in a bunch of laptops , HDD to SDD
Some of them were used and a bit filthy
I used compressed air to blow out some of the dust
When I popped one of them open , I thought it was full of bread crumbs
Instead it was full of bed bugs
I showed Dave , and he said we need to quarantine the room
I ran to Home Depot and bought some bug bombs
The building manager is going to have Terminix come in and spray
My car warns me when I'm running out of gas
I've learned that when it gets to zero , I still have about fifty miles left to go before needing to fill up again
So I put off getting gas for a few days
As I was leaving work , my car stalled
I had to walk all the way home to get the gas can , filled it up at the station , and walked back to the car
I was annoyed with myself , but I learned how far of a walk it is to and from work
It snowed a few inches , so I used the opportunity to build another snow monster
I took a large tarp , and clipped the ends together to make a tube
Then I filled the tube up with snow
It's kinda lumpy and tilted , and some of the snow cleaved off , but it's still fun
More snow
Another snow monster