Josie was sitting with Rocky , but she had to go back to Grand Rapids
So now I'm his "single visitor"
They won't let multiple people see him , for covid reasons
I skipped out of work early and spent several hours sitting with him
I've got one appointment at 10am , I told the user I'd probably be late
I went straight to the hospital because they said they were going to try to wake him up first thing in the morning
but they said they weren't going to wake him up until the afternoon
I spent all morning trying to get an answer as to when they'd try
I wanted to drive back down to Dearborn , start the user's backup , and drive back to the hospital
When the doctors finally did their rounds , I asked them when they were going to try to wake him , and he said "right now"
They took him off of the sedatives , but not the pain killers
I was so happy to see him open his eyes , even though they were super red and full of goop
They're trying to ween him off of the ventilator
The machine was breathing for him for so long that his lungs were getting lazy
He managed to breathe on his own for a while , but not with the regularity that the machine was , natch
They kept pulling bloody bits out of his lungs
I'm blaming that on the fact that he has smoked for literally as long as I have known him
I stayed with him for a few more hours , getting excited every time he would move a little bit
but he didn't open his eyes any more
I went back to the office to finally start the user's back up
I planned on starting the restore and leaving it until Monday morning , but as of 10:30PM it was still backing up
So I went home
I couldn't get into the office to start the user's restore
So I sat in the parking lot and wirelessly remoted into his new computer and started it
The backup took more than ten hours to complete
When I got to the hospital , the door to Rocky's room was closed
I didn't know what they were doing in there , so I waited for a nurse to show up
Turns out they were inserting a 'poop tube'
The room was stinky , so I didn't hang around
When I got to the hospital today , the less-pleasant nurse , had all bad news
His fever is back
He'll need a tracheotomy
He'll need a peg put in his stomach so he can eat
He's non-responsive to any stimulation , including pain
They're thinking brain damage
He'll need a nursing home to get better
I took a quick video of him to share
It's hard to watch him struggle
When the doctor came around , I called Carley so she could ask a bunch of questions
I arrived at the hospital , and discovered that they shaved his beard and combed his hair
He looks kinda dapper
I don't think I remember him with just a mustache
I was concerned about Rocky's quality of life after getting a tracheotomy
but after the nurse answered a bunch of my questions
I'm less concerned knowing he won't have to have a hole in his neck for the rest of his life
They performed the tracheotomy today
Took the morning off to get my oil changed
Today , they shaved his mustache too
He looks like Tommy
They took him off of the pain meds and sedatives
He's twitching around a lot
Due to Thanksgiving and baby sitting Rocky
My laundry schedule is off
I went to the laundromat today and did three weeks of laundry , and washed all of my bedding
More twitching and shaking his head at me
I think his body is really restless from being stuck in a bed for two weeks
I can't get him to open his eyes though
It's like he's stuck in REM sleep
Annie went to the hostipal today instead of me
I feel kinda guilty
I didn't want to drive for an hour just to watch him lie there again
I wanted to sit around playing video games
Annie says he's being slightly responsive to questions
Annie seems to be taking over Rocky duty
She's trying to get people to talk to him over the phone to get him awake
He did wake up a bit
Annie says he's trying to talk
Doesn't sound like he's completely lucid yet
but strong enough to pull himself over
I've got a bunch of renewals at EVB
It's twenty walkups in the garage area
It's supposed to take me three days , but I'll get it done in one
I'm going to have a bunch of free time
Rocky died today
Annie called , said he had a de-fib-something
The doctors worked on him for an hour , but couldn't save him
The group chat said something about the hearth problem earlier
When I saw Annie's name on my phone , I thought she was going to tell me about the problem
As she was talking I was thinking "whatever it is , it'll be fine as long as he's still alive , he can come back from anything"
oops
I feel kinda bad , my first thought was "what's going to happen to his house ?"
Practical concerns I guess
I expect it will sold off and the money given to his kids
I think I'm feeling kind of in denial , kind of numb
The whole time I was in the hospital , I was surprised at how not nervous I felt
I think this is the same
This is stupid
Out of six brothers , just me and Tommy left
All three sisters are still here
Mom is still oddly strong for a 90+
This is going to hit everybody hard
Rocky was one that everybody liked
David was an alcoholic , so while everybody cried , I don't think people actually liked him
People liked Tim , but he lingered for a while with his throat (?) cancer
Dad was old , so no surprise when he went
Jim was a sad old drunk , that people didn't invite to family gatherings , so I don't think he was really missed
As much as I don't want to go to any more funerals
I hope to out live the rest of the family
I kind of want to be that uncle that everybody forgot about
"oh hey did you hear uncle Jeremy died ?" "really ? when ?" "last year some time"
People keep calling
I really don't know what to say
I'm no good at consoling people
And I don't think I need to be consoled myself
I'm so detatched and isolated from the rest of humanity
that when somebody dies , I just think "well okay , I haven't interacted with that person in so long , that my life isn't changed in any way"
For a while now , I've been thinking "when Mom goes , Rocky can help with managing her house and 'belongings'"
Now he's gone , what am I going to do ?
I'm still feeling kind of 'nothing'
I'm concerned about what sociopathic tendencies I have
I know when I'm around other crying people , I'll start weeping
but for now , nothing
I started thinking about the nurses and doctors that were looking after Rocky (the nurses did all the work)
I want to send them a note thanking them
I don't know why that thought got me tearing up
All of those walkups at EVB ?
I'm not obligated to do a backup on walkups
It would have taken days to back up all the profiles that piled up over the years
Because I'm a nice guy , I did a quicker settings backup
Today , their boss says people need their data recovered
So now I've got the old computers plugged in and backing up their data
Went to see Spiderman: No Way Home
It was a special showing that had subtitles on the screen , I'd like to see more of that
I was surprised that they managed to get all of those actors back
It felt a little bit fan-service-y
but a good movie
Went to Rocky's with Annie
Apparently Rocky's kids are planning to claim all of his stuff as their inheritance
Lesa has been pouring poison into their ears for a while now , about how terrible Rocky is
So we're changing the locks on the house and installing security cameras
Things went smoothly , until Annie tried to help
She's not the handy sort
The King's Man
If I knew more about World War One , I might have gotten more out of it
It wasn't as bombastic as the first one
I assumed that Morris was a bad guy , but I kept expecting them to use the same actor that died in the second one
Matrix : Resurrection
I can see why the 'critics' wouldn't like it
The 'message' felt more forced this time
It felt a bit like the fourth Indiana Jones movie
Bringing back a bunch of old actors , and surround them with a bunch of new young people
Mom's car is in the shop
Annie asked me to drive over there to go get her
So that ate up one of my vacation days
Went to Annie's for Christmas
Spent a couple of hours digging through Rocky's old pictures
There was one box that seemed like he emptied out a junk drawer
Rocky's wake
I spent a week watching Rocky in the hospital bed
He was very still then
So it's odd seeing him here just as still
I was half expecting him to start breathing again
Patti had asked me to help with Rocky's memorial slide show
I grabbed his iPod from his house , and determined his 'favorite' songs
Patti had to buy a new TV from Costco , because the funeral home's TV wouldn't play her video
I pushed myself to go up and say some things about Rocky
Every time I thought of him as my 'big brother' , I started crying
I think I surprised everybody with my show of emotion
Tommy took us out for dinner and drinks
Then we went back to his hotel and drank some more
To prevent me from driving home , Tommy got me a hotel room
I wasn't expecting to stay at the hotel , so I'm wearing yesterday's clothes
I'm not a fan of any church service
It's always so 'performative'
Everybody is supposed to follow along with the script -- stand there , sit down , say this , shake that person's hand
I prefer yesterday's impromptu , from-the-heart speaking
There was more family here today
We went to an irish pub for lunch
I went to Patti's hotel , and helped her return the TV to Costco
New Year's Eve
Which means fireworks and gunfire at midnight