Part of the fence in the backyard is covered by a wooden fence
to block the sight of the garbage cans from the street
Part of the fence fell apart , so it needed replacing
The fence's wood is a bit old and rotting
but I'd find it more interesting to re-use the old wood
also it'd be more difficult to find another fence and paint it the same shade of green
I dismantled the fence , removing the slats from the old supports
Then I attached the slats to new crossbeams and secured them to the chainlink fence
Today felt like one of those wasted days
I had one chore to get done
go to the laundromat
but I kept putting it off
"one more game" "one more video" "after i eat" "after a shower"
Finally , I just said "screw it , i'll go tomorrow"
I was a bit upset with myself
until I realized that I had had an entirely naked day
Last night I slept in the nude
I didn't bother to put on clothes all day
and I went to bed naked
I'd have enjoyed the day more if I was allowed to go outside
I could have cooled off in the rain
or worked on my tan
But people get mad when they see me naked
In the middle of the night , I took the opportunity to step outside the back door
and enjoy the night air on my skin for just a moment
Another year has gone by and I didn't win the lottery
I checked all of the tickets I've been collecting since last September
Thirty-eight tickets bought
Zero dollars won
I've been playing Lotto47 instead of MegaMillions
So I guess I'm "saving" a dollar per ticket there
I repaired the shade I use at Lakes of Fire
Many years ago , I bought an "As Seen on TV" pull up bar
It hooks over a door frame and uses leverage to keep itself fixed to the wall
It worked great at the Southfield house
but when I installed it at my new house , I could hear a lot of cracking noises
I was worried that it was going to punch a hole through the plaster
I was going to try to create a larger plate in order to spread the force over a larger area
I was about to get working on it when I thought to test the pull up bar again
I don't think it is going to punch a hole in the wall
but it might tear the molding off the door frame
It's a risk I'm going to take
I desperately need the exercise
About a year ago , I replaced the kitchen sink with a relatively cheap model that had the features I wanted
two handles for hot and cold , a spout that raises the water high , and an external sprayer
I installed it easily enough
but about a month later , the hot water side started leaking
I shrugged , "you get what you paid for" ($50)
I figured the hot water had melted one of the rubber washers
It had happened to other faucets
I figured it would be an easy fix
I had tried to remove the handle to get to the innards of the spigot
but the screw holding the handle on refused to budge
despite how many hex wrenches I bought
I thought I had stripped the screw head
so I bought a drill head for extracting screws
I was putting off fixing the sink until I got the work bench built in the garage
So for the last year I've been suffering with a dripping faucet
Today , I removed the sink and used the screw extractor
It didn't really work and just drilled a hole through the screw
but I managed to get the handle off
only to discover that the inner workings were nto what I was expecting
It seemed to be some cheap proprietary valve that didn't have any washers to replace
I decided to cut my losses
and drove back out to Menards to purchase another one
This time I'm keeping the box and receipt to return it if needed
I installed the new sink , and it's working as intended (so far)
I feel like I've accomplished a lot today -- laundry , lottery tickets , the shade , the pull up bar , the sink
I think the trick is to not sit in front of my computer first thing in the morning
The internet is a black hole for my mind and body
I made some progress on the mailbox and the briquette press
For the mailbox , I bought some sheet metal
For the briquette press , I bought some lumber and built an easy press using plans I found online
I also spent some time shredding a bunch of the junk mail that has been piling up
I took the opportunity for some naked time by hiding in the garage with my clothes off
Over the years , I've acquired a lot of hard drives
When I need to re-install an operating system
I'll get a new hard drive for the process
so that I don't accidentally delete data I want to keep
I've been going through all of my hard drives checking for old files I want to keep before I wipe them
Most of them are full of files that I've already copied to my archive
I came across a hard drive that seemed to belong to somebody named Ryan
I don't remember the exact circumstances that led to my possession of it
but I'm assuming I found some music files on it and decided to keep it
In scanning through the user folder , I discovered A LOT more
This was Ryan's personal hard drive
Some games were installed
I found a bunch of personal documents
even more music than I thought
and some pictures
The real surprise were the videos
There was some porn that was downloaded from PornHub
I thought "oh neat , i'll add this to my collection"
Then I found some videos that seemed less professional than you'd normally find on a website
and they were of all the same few people
" . . . "
" OH MY GOD ! these are Ryan's sex tapes . and he's having a four-some with another couple "
I was a bit excited to find some real-life porn
but the content was disappointing
They were fat \ obese people with little sexual technique
I'll probably keep a copy for archiving purposes , but I won't wank to it
I'm thinking about mailing the hard drive back to Ryan if I can find an address
Went to Annie's for Mom's birthday party
There were a lot more people there than I was expecting
I've never been too happy with family gatherings , because it always seems to be old people and children
But I guess the nieces and nephews have created an in between age group that I seem to fit in to
We had dinner at the Zukey Lake tavern
It hadn't gotten dark yet when they shot off a couple of fire works
They were the big motar types
Because it was still light out , I could see the actual firework launched into the air
I've seen lots of fireworks , but never saw the physical object fly into the air before
We played a game of hunt-for-the-dogs when the dogs ran out of the yard and down the street
I've got a checklist app on my phone
I use it to make sure I don't forget anything as I'm packing
The list doesn't change much from year to year
so I don't have to re-think it
and I can assume that the important stuff is still on there
I'd like to get the car completely packed tonight and leave first thing in the morning
but there are a few things I'm still using
like my toiletries and bedding
and I don't want to put the food in the coolers any sooner than I have to
I did arrange everything prepped that I could
I wanted to leave at 6am to get there at 10am when the gates open
but I didn't get on the road until 9am
Sometime during the drive , my car's odometer flipped over to 70,000 miles
The first day was quite the shit show
I think my car's radiator fan is non-functional
which is quite the coincidence considering that the same thing happened to my last car
I wonder if it's how I'm driving
After a four hour drive across the state
I then had to sit idling while I waited to get checked in
This caused the car to overheat and I had to let it sit for an hour to cool down
I have a normal procedure of
first drop the boat and other items off at the beach
then hang the shower bag
then pitch the tent
then park the car
Because I couldn't use the car
my entire routine was messed up
I ended up forgetting a lot of things
and I had to make multiple trips walking around every where
When I saw that they had moved the event to July
I was excited because I assumed that it wouldn't rain this time
No such luck
It rained for several hours
I was a bit upset
but I took the opportunity to do something that I can't do in the normal world
I walked around naked in the cooling rain
I laughed to myself thinking "i'm the only one dressed for the weather"
I didn't want to walk around in the rain getting my clothes wet
so I decided to take a nap until the rain stopped
I didn't wake up until 1am
but that was fine , the party was still going on
I wandered around looking for entertainment
When I got to the dark side of the lake
I looked up at the stars and saw the Milky Way
I had forgotten that you can only see it in July
One group had set up a large wheel
you got up on stage and spun the wheel , and told a personal story about what ever came up
I got 'rebellion' but I couldn't think of anything
so I spun again and got 'a story you've never told'
It felt like they want me to admit to a crime
I like telling my embarrassing stories
so I couldn't think of any stories that I've never told
except for the ones that are super shameful
I ended up telling them about the time I capsized my boat and lost the sail at the bottom of the lake
I drank three Dragon Milk (11% alcohol)
I was buzzing pretty hard
I'm having an all day hangover
I need to remember to drink water after drinking so much beer
It was very cloudy in the morning and sunny in the afternoon
I wasn't as diligent with the sunscreen as I should have been
I ended up with a stupid case of 'single man's sunburn'
It's not in the center of my back , but on my sides
You can see the outline of my fingers where I stopped applying the sunscreen
You'd think that after being outside and completely nude
there wouldn't be any reason to feel shame
But you've got to be careful not to get an erection
Most of the time , the cold water , chilly wind , and my old age
will keep my dick pretty shriveled up
Despite being surrounded by naked women
The average human is of average attractiveness
The internet only shows the super hot people wearing make up and being filmed in the best light
Here , you're getting the middle of the bell curve
Lots of extra fat wrinkles and hair
There are few large , firm , well shaped breasts
and not a lot of tight round butts
So there's not a lot to get my cock too excited
What does turn me on is a game of "What Will She Take Off?"
I won't deny that I park myself on the beach just so I can ogle the women
Whenever a new woman approaches the water
I like to try to guess how naked she will get
If she wears a full bathing suit (bikini or one piece) , that is disappointing
If she gets her boobs out , that's just standard fare
And the best is when I get to watch the show as she wriggles out of her panties
Even better than that is when she's got her top off
and she's debating whether or not to take her bottoms off
and I'm screaming in my head "do it! do it! get them off!"
and she does
That's when my boner starts to pop
There was one girl that only taken her top off
I was disappointed , until she stopped at the water's edge , turned around , and decided to drop her panties
I may have creamed my shorts , if I was wearing any
After spending so much time on a nude beach
I've gotten pretty good at spotting the trans women and men
Sometimes it's as easy as "oh that's a nice bikini . wait , there's too much bulge in those bottoms"
If you know what to look for , the male and female skeletal stuctures are noticably different
When men take female hormones , their breasts just don't grow 'right' , and their nipples seem to go out of control
I think I only saw one trans-man
I was looking at the person from the back , and their curves suggested "woman"
but when they turned around , I saw they had a lot of facial hair , and not much boobs
but then again , down below there was definitely no penis , and the ridges of a pussy
When it comes to the trans issue \ debate
I just don't really care what you choose to do with your body
In the same way I don't care who gay people decide to have sex with
For my own personal preference , I prefer naked women
(and now i'm going to try to clarify \ justify my preferences in less than a thousand words)
I don't like any kind of cosmetic surgery
I prefer natural beauty , not what some doctor can inject , insert , or remove
I think anyone would choose naturally born perfect breasts , rather than plastic bags inserted in the chest
It's the same , if you pump your body full of hormones in and attempt to change it into the shape you want
I also prefer a woman that doesn't use makeup or clothes to mask what kind of body they actually have
That's one reason nude beaches are so great
I am fine with the removal of body hair , men and women
Evolution kind of screwed us humans on the body hair
It's usually kind of patchy and not pleasant to touch
I think I'd like a full coat of fur , like an animal's
as long as it's as soft to touch
I prefer low-maintainence in all things in my life
(it's my slothful nature)
If you have to continually pump your body full of hormones to keep the shape you want
that is more effort than I'm willing the exert
I'm not going to immediately hate any trans-person I meet
I will be friendly and respectful to most people I meet
but if I'm going to get into a romantic relationship with somebody
and that leads to us rubbing our naked bodies together
I'm going to insist on a natural born female
(one with as much natural beauty as luck will allow me)
If I had to rank which humans I'd prefer to get into a relationship with
I think it'd be in this order . . .
- a natural born woman with natural beauty
- a natural born woman with augmented beauty
- a trans-man , assuming there is still a pussy down there , and they haven't lopped off their breasts
- a trans-woman
- a natural born man
In the end , do what you want , just don't get mad if I reject a relationship with you based on my preferences
I wonder if they make a camping microwave
It takes a lot longer than I'd like to wait for my food to cook over the camp stove
and I have to sit there and watch it to make sure it doesn't boil over or burn
or set the tent on fire
The only bit of fun I found tonight was when somebody started playing Weird Al music videos up on the screen
The weather forecast said it was going to rain
So I ran around warning people
but it ended up not raining
oh well , "pessimists are never disappointed"
I think I've normalized my nudity
I don't even think about it now
It's like I've completely forgotten that I'm not wearing clothes
Some times I'll look down and think ". . . oh yeah . . . huh" and move on with my day
The only time I feel a little awkward is when I'm walking around , and I make eye contact with somebody
I smile at them and feel fine about it
until I realize that they probably feel a bit uncomfortable about interacting with the weirdo who is walking around naked
I had gotten everything set up at the beach , when I realized I'm running low on sunscreen
Rather than panicking later on , I decided to walk back to the tent to get some more
Completely naked of course
When the day was over , and I'd had my shower , I was walking back to my tent
Some people were having fun by setting up a small ramp in the middle of the road
and telling people to jump off of it , whether or not they were walking or riding bicycle
They told me to jump off of it , and get my nuts bouncing around
So I did
It was a wonderful day at the beach
The sun was warm , and the wind was chill
It seemed like most of the people at the burn visited the beach
I spent a lot of time sailing
and two separate guys asked if they could take their girlfriends for a ride in my boat
(my jealousy increased a lot)
An older lady , Yoga Mama (?) , complimented me on my nice butt
I can honestly say that no one has ever said nice things about my buttocks before
A person had set up a small blacksmith area and was giving demonstrations
Later on , I was listening to music , when The Longest Johns - Hammer and Anvil Song came on
I remembered the blacksmith I had met , and shared the song with him
Earlier than usual , I wandered around the camps
Mostly to show off my t-shirt that says "SINGLE AND READY TO STARE AWKWARDLY AT ANYONE I FIND ATTRACTIVE"
After that , I took a nap and didn't wake up until after midnight
I'm glad I was in my tent at that time , because an unexpected downpour hit us
I was able to cover my tent with the tarp when I heard the first few raindrops
In the morning , I started walking towards the beach , but was stopped by some rangers
The sheriffs had been called , so they blocked off the area
I don't know what happened , but one of the rangers said "it was a long time coming"
I loaded up my boat , and sailed to the beach on the other side of the lake
The lake's water level was a lot lower than last year , so there were a lot more weeds on the beach
I parked my shade deep in the weeds to not be obtrusive
It turned out to be prime ogling real-estate
because everybody had to walk past me to get into the water
(gods im such a letch)
Another guy sailed his girl around in my boat
(waaah! why can't i have my own girl to cruise around with?)
I didn't get to the effigy burn soon enough , and my preferred spot (standing on a picnic table) was already taken
I recognize that I'm a tall person , and should be mindful not to block other's view
I found a tree in the back to lean against and waited for the show to start
The area in front of me was filling up with people sitting on the ground and in chairs
Perfect , I'm not blocking anybody else's view and I can see over everybody else's heads
Until this guy stood right in front of me
He's a full head taller than me and is completely blocking my view
I'm getting irrationally mad and screaming at him in my head "have some situational awareness you Lurch mother fucker !"
Everything about this person seemed off
He's got a girl with him who is dressed in goth attire , and he's grabbing her butt , so I assume they're a couple
but he's not "dressed appropriately" for Lakes of Fire
He's wearing flip flops , cargo shorts , and a blank t-shirt
He looks like he should be at a bar-b-que , not a rave
And I wouldn't be surprised if he's on the spectrum
The whole time , he just stood there , un-moving , with his arms crossed
I wouldnt have given him a second thought , nor been so critical of him , if he wasn't standing right in front of me , blocking my fucking view !
As I was telling people that I was taking some time off for Lakes of Fire
I had a hard time describing what the event was
So I'm taking some pictures and videos to create a slideshow
"I'M HAVING A GREAT TIME , AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!"
After the effigy burned down , I stood up on a table to get a better picture
While I was up there , the DJ was playing some song from the 80s
I was tapping my foot a bit
and then decided that if I'm going to be standing on a table , I might as well be dancing
and if I'm going to be dancing properly , then I've got to get my hands over my head
Next thing I know , I'm jumping around , waving my arms , and correctly predicting when the bass was gonna drop
"what the hell is going on ?! jeremy doesn't dance"
but there I am , up on a table , clearly dancing
The music stops , but I've suddenly got this boost of energy
I listen for more music , let my feet find the beat , and start walking around the lake
I normally don't have much fun at night
The club\rave atmosphere isn't for me
and it's too dark to see the naked people
But tonight , I'm dance-walking around , drinking all of the booze that people are pouring , and being stupidly happy
I start to wonder if somebody has spiked my drink
but what are you going to sneak into MY beer bottle ?
I got back up onto the story telling stage and nailed it
It came up with "got lost"
and I proceded to tell the story about how I _didn't_ get lost at the Toronto Science Museum in high school
I was shouting at people "I'M HAVING A GREAT TIME , AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!" to general amusement
When I got to the quiet side of the lake , and I couldn't hear any music
I noticed how tired my legs were , and how much my knees hurt
I'd pay for it in the morning , but right now I'm having too much fun
I hunted for , and eventually found the 'hidden secret second road'
I party hopped a bit , and chatted with some random people
After drinking my beers , and everybody else's booze , I was buzzing pretty hard
The highlight of the night was the toasted meat sandwich
I'm not sure why , but I refuse to wait in any line at LoF
it just seems like a silly waste of time
If it's meant to be , I'll find a secret treasure that people are handing out in the moment
Lines usually form for any kind of food
I thought that the line was for grilled cheese sandwiches
"meh , I can do without that . . . wait , they're putting meat in the sandwich ?! gonna get me some of that !"
I stood in line and chatted with a couple of guys that seemed too young to be tripping that hard
I got my sandwich and stood off to the side
"delicious!"
I was chatting with some guy , and I don't know why but we started talking about the song "Gin and Juice"
I'm munching on my sandwich , when the thought occurs to me that the song doesn't specify what kind of 'juice'
My mind processes this revelation for a moment when I start giggling
Then it turns into one of those uncontrollable giggling fits
"oh gods , i can't stop"
I plop myself down on the ground in an effort to control myself
Several minutes later , I'm sat in the dirt , still giggling , and taking bites of food between gasps for breath
Some people are becoming concerned about this lunatic on the ground
I control myself enough to explain , through the giggling , what set me off
Knowing full well that nobody is going to find this as funny as I did
My brain had latched onto the word "squeezings"
The 'gin' in "Gin and Juice" is self explanitory
but what kind of 'juice' is it ?
I suppose it's just whatever object you can find to squeeze some liquid out of
So it's "Gin and Squeezings"!
People find the humor in the joke and half-heartedly grin
while I'm rolling on the ground in hysterics
It's getting late (or early) , and the party seems to be winding down a bit
I decide it's time for bed
I'm still laughing to myself , sounding a bit like the Joker
As I wander back to the tent , I know that at any time I can engage my brain's higher functions , and tell my body to control itself
but I'm still having too much fun
So I giggle myself to sleep
I packed up while completely nude
The lack of sunscreen helped me get a slight burn \ tan
I took one last dip in the lake
Without a bunch of people splashing around , the water was very clear
I enjoyed the feeling of the water on my body
After a warm shower , I hit the road
I was worried about the car overheating , especially when traffic stopped for construction
Getting home from from a trip is the worst
You really want to relax , but there is work to do
I have to clean the tent and tarps , do laundry , and wash the dishes
Without internet for a week , I missed out on a lot , and have to catch up on consuming media and video games
I am super hungry and tired
I just want to eat and sleep for a day
Last week , before leaving for my trip , I checked my work schedule
There was only one install for tomorrow
Today , I find my schedule full for the next two weeks
I still managed to find some time to go to the laundromat
Usually , the planners know enough not to overload my schedule
Today , I've got three installs at three different buildings
and two of them are set for 10am
I managed to get everything done
because I'm just that good
I've created so many self-insert fan fiction stories
Its a shame that they are trapped in my head
If I had the infinity gauntlet , I'd have the mind stone scan my memories , and the reality stone create an animated work
A large thunderstorm rolled through the area
It dumped a lot of water , and flooded the road's underpasses
Normally , I'd gun it and try to surf over the water
but this time I didn't see anybody else driving through the water
and even saw some cars that had failed to make it through
I drove far out of my way and had to do two u-turns , but still couldn't get home
I was hungry , so I decided to wait for the water to recede at the Oakwood Grill
I stuffed myself with burger and fries
Got up early and took the car in for an oil change
I'm worried about it overheating , so I paid for a radiator flush
and apparently I'm suffering from 'swollen lug nuts'
I saw a car with a lot of carbon build up in the cylinders
I was curious what the cause of that was
It's because of something called Exhaust Gas Recovery
The engine will try to re-burn the exhaust to improve fuel efficiency
The cause of the carbon build up is only driving in short bursts , like I do every day
This might be a problem in the future , but I'm not going to pay for the treatment today
Arguing with myself . . .
"it's a beautiful day , let's go sailing"
"but the weather report says it's going to rain"
"not until after 5pm , we'll be off the water by then"
"ugh , i don't want to leave the house"
"come on , ath the end of the day , you know we're always happier to have gone sailing , rather than stay home"
"oh all right"
I typically like to leave the house at noon , and get onto the lake at 1pm
but today I didn't get out of bed until after 11am , so I got a late start
The sun wasn't out much , but I didn't make the mistake of not wearing sunscreen again
There were even fewer people in the party area than there have been this year
I only went back and forth twice before the storm clouds started rolling in
much earlier than I had expected
Everybody in a motor boat packed up their stuff and hurried back to port
I had to fight against the wind and waves to get back to the dock
I got rained on a couple of times , but it didn't bother me much
I'm already wet , and the storm just gave me more wind to work with
The lake water seemed oddly warm , but I expect that is just because my skin temperature was relatively cold
Once again , my work schedule is unpleasantly light
I stopped at home for lunch
There was a knock on the door
It was an electrician warning me that my power would be cut off soon
DTE has been replacing the power poles in an effort to reduce the number of outages in the area
When they were done , I discovered a new power pole in the alley behind my house
I was slightly annoyed by having another object to mow around
I was more upset when I noticed that the power line from the pole to my house is now rubbing up against my trees
I'm going to have to cut some tree limbs
and find a way to keep the trees and powerlines from damaging each other too much
I finally got down to turning the paper pulp into briquettes
The shredded paper has been sitting in the water for a couple of weeks now , and is giving off a fetid odor
I moved the car out of the garage and worked in there
The briquette press I had made didn't work as well as I'd like , so I took to standing on it , and letting my 200 pounds do the work
I end up with more than forty briquettes , a wet and slimy garage floor , and some sore muscles
A wonderfully hot and humid day
I had to shower a few times to rinse the sweat off
I bought a hand saw on a long pole
and chopped off a bunch of branches from the magnolia tree
One branch was rubbing against the back door awning
Another was drooping too low for my height
The rest were interfering with the powerline
It doesn't look great
but I expect the tree will fill itself back in after several years