This is my blog. My thoughts, feelings, philosophies, a record of my day-to-day activies, streams of consciousness, etc.


2022-12 - 2023-03

2023-01-01

Black Clover
It took me a long time to get through all 170 episodes of the anime
and then read forward in the manga
Like every body says , it starts out weak and gets good
My favorite parts are always when the over confident magic user gets punched in the face


2023-01-02

Once again , I didn't realize that today was a holiday
and showed up to work wondering why the parking lot was empty


2023-01-03

The Hidden Dungeon Only I Can Enter
PG-13 hentai is the worst


2023-01-04


2023-01-05


2023-01-06


2023-01-07


2023-01-08


2023-01-09


2023-01-10


2023-01-11


2023-01-12


2023-01-13


2023-01-14


2023-01-15

Recently , my brain has been hitting me with a lot more unpleasant \ cringy \ embarassing \ awkward memories
A long time ago , I started batting the memories away by saying "no" outloud
and it helped to not let my mind implode on itself
This has turned into "never again" , as a way to say "don't let it bother you , you'll never see that person again"
I've kept these stupid thoughts internalized
I'm going to see if bring them out here will help

Let's start with one from sixth grade . . .
The previous day , the home room teach said we were going to make some pin hole cameras using real film
I was really exited about something that wasn't just book learning
This day , he came in and was upset about the doctor telling him he had cancer
I was barely listening to his story , wondering when we were going to make our cameras
I had brought the cardboard , tin foil , camera film
When he was done talking he asked if there were any questions
Everybody else was quiet , not knowing what to say to this sad news
I piped up with "so when are we making the pin hole cameras ?"
Everybody else turned towards me and gave an audible groan
It was only at this point I had realized my fuax pas and felt embarassed

This is the kind of thought that has been living in my brain for the last thirty five years
Written out , it doesn't sound like much of anything
But there are times when my mental defenses are low , and something like this will jump up and stab me in a soft spot
What's worse is that remembering the memory will reinforce the neural pathways to it and make it more unlikely to be forgotten
I just wish it were so easy to dredge up pleasant memories


2023-01-16

I would gladly trade all of these cold weather days off
for ones in the summer time


2023-01-17


2023-01-18


2023-01-19

Noragami
I don't like stories in which the bad guys get their way so often
I might have liked it more if I knew more about the Japanese pantheon


2023-01-20


2023-01-21

I suspect I have some infection in my gums
It looks like a zit on my gum line
It's just above that broken tooth
I tear it open and pus comes out
but then it's back the next day
I can only imagine the terrible rot that is going on under that tooth
I just hope it doesn't effect my jaw or other teeth
I really should find another dentist
but I'm scared of what they'll say and want to do


2023-01-22


2023-01-23


2023-01-24


2023-01-25


2023-01-26


2023-01-27


2023-01-28

I watched more of Attack on Titan
It took me a while to remember who all the characters were
and who I should hate


2023-01-29

I was having some dream in which I was running \ sliding through a park
Other people were standing around or playing games
A few people were shooting guns at a gun range
except there were no walls any where
and a stray shot hit me in the chest
I woke with a start , saying "FFFFFF..."


2023-01-30


2023-01-31